Horse Help: The anxious horse rider, nervous horse person, timid equine enthusiast
The timid/unsure rider comes from a place of feeling "surprised" by what the horse does or feeling ineffective towards their horse.
Learning how to practice assessing horse behavior and mentally playing out equine interactions (without your horse in hand,) allows you the time to think through various scenarios. Think back and learn from the previous moments when you started to see behaviors in your horse that were concerning. Then think through, how your horse "handled it" and what was your communication towards your horse. Then assess how early you recognized those behaviors (which are a reflection of the horse's brain and emotions) and if you were "hopeful" that your horse would just let it go on his own or the passive rider trait. This is a vicious cycle that occurs with timid/fearful riders. And no, horses cannot rationalize if the way they are choosing to do something isn't safe, therefor the human needs to interject.
But this is where fear in the rider comes in. If you don't have quality "ingredients," such as being able to ask your horse's brain and body to pause or stop and check in with you, then you will typically not offer a "boundary" for fear of an overreaction from your horse. And of course not wanting to have a "blow up" during the moment of peak stress. That is why it is so crucial to have a mental availability or willingness, for your horse to hear you, and offer a "try" in whatever you've asked of him BEFORE you present a location that could potentially cause him to be unsure. The time to "fix" your tools is not at the time of peak stress.
Since hindsight is 20/20, I want you to think about times your horse was starting to show concern, such as when you START to feel him getting looky, walking a bit faster, not quite as responsive to your aid, and I want you to talk yourself through your options of how you could communicate with him to influence a change in his BRAIN first, that will result in different behavior from him. The earlier you influence a change in thought, the faster he will diffuse his worry or concern, therefore you've "drained" his cup from overfilling.
This conversation is not about critiquing the horse for what he is doing, he is honestly telling you his concern, so if all you do is tell him "no" it does not help him "find" a different response. If you offer a "not that, but how about this?," in re-directing his thoughts and focus, it is offering a positive alternative or a "way out" from his mental trigger/fixation/anticipation.
The other huge factor is most folks shut down, or quit communicating, at the time the horse needs them the most. Learn what your triggers are when you go passive in the saddle, and come up with ideas for yourself to "try out" that can keep you mentally present and offer a conversation with your horse. The more you learn to stay present at the moment with your horse, the more supported he will feel, and he will gain confidence, offering softer and more willing responses, which in turn builds your confidence.
How does this all tie together for riding out?
Once you have the ingredients, have done your mental preparations, practiced using quality communication to work through your horse's bother, or you've now mixed the ingredients, you are ready to "bake."
Just as with cooking, even if you have the correct amount of everything mixed together if you leave the batter in the oven too long, it gets burnt or overdone. For green horses and insecure riders, this is such a frequent occurrence. They have this idea that "trail riding" needs to be a certain distance or amount of time, and they tend to "overdo" or burn out mentally because it was initially too long for the horse and rider.
The initial trail ride(s), might be to the mailbox at the end of the driveway and back. Or a hack around half the property. The horse cannot decipher between what is a "real" trail ride and what is not. That comes from the human's judgment and the horse world's standard. But who cares about all that? Because really what is the goal? To expand you and your horse's confidence and ability to ride out into the real world, and be better mentally and emotionally for the experience.
So think of it as the competition arena. You don't show up to the show without practicing, right? So don't head out on the three-hour ride without practicing in incremental, quality shorter rides to develop your confidence by refining your skills.
